Mr Song and Mrs Smith
by Starjargon
Summary: One shots mostly Eleven/ River. Other Doctors may appear. Occasionally same events from multiple views. Shameless fluff. Occasional angst. Ideas welcome, along with a dose of patience. I've recently found myself writing Doctor/ River fluff, and rather than adding it to my Pond series, I've decided to make its own series.
1. I Didn't Have to Die Alone

**A/N- Not really sure where this came from, but I like it. Doctor/ River fluff. Explains why River met the Doctor in the Impossible Astronaut, other than the obvious. A little out there when I got to the analogy, but I like where it ended up.**

**Disclaimer: I know little to nothing about minerals or fish- so I made it alien which fixes everything. I only own the idea, not the characters, which belong to Steven Moffat and the BBC. Please review.**

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After he left her parents back on Earth, it was not uncommon for the Doctor to seek out River for their own private adventures. They travelled the stars, the Doctor and his new Song, always running, always fighting, nearly always together. Then the time came when they met up yet again, where the Doctor finally realized the inevitable.

"I'm going to die," he declared one day. She detected no pain in his voice. No regret. Just simple fact. He glanced briefly at her before staring straight ahead, continuing as though he couldn't hold it in. "Silencio. 22 April 2011. You're going to kill me. Aren't you?"

She looked at him. She weighed her words carefully. She knew he was an older version of him, she just hadn't fully realized how young he still was. If she told him the truth, she could cause a paradox. If she told him the lie, he would go forward, terrified of the one thing he'd spent lifetimes running from. An end.

Her clever man. It seemed their lot in life to hurt one another. And if he knew now he would escape his death, she risked losing him forever. She steeled herself as she too stared straight forward and whispered quietly, "Yes."

He nodded, barely resigned to his fate. Then he swallowed, still staring straight ahead, before he gulped and continued on.

"Will it be quick?" This time, he didn't bother trying to hide his fear.

"Yes." _No,_ she wished she could shout, _it was an eternity and yet a moment. It was me delaying your death, my loss, for all of time, selfishness be trodden. It was everything that ever mattered for us. It was lifetimes yet minutes and hours and seconds where time didn't move at all. It was the beginning and end of everything that ever was or will be- of Melody Pond at last fully becoming River Song and them both marrying and murdering the Doctor. And yet again, the Loyal Soldier found the Eager Waiter, and they both consented to give you their child for the rest of our lives. _

His eyes closed for the briefest moment, as he shallowly breathed once more.

"And then you go to Stormcage."

_Where I see you, night after night as you come for me, always returning, never really saying goodbye._

"Yes."

"I'm sorry." He seemed more genuinely apologetic about her sentence than his own. She smiled a wistful smile before reaching out and gently taking his hand.

"It's only walls, my love."

His fingers curled around hers, accepting her comfort.

"I should've saved you," he explained.

"Oh, Sweetie, let's best not get caught up in all the things we should've done."

He still hadn't turned toward her, so she kept her body facing the lake, looking down over the tall waterfall where they were currently perched. They sat in silence for a little while longer, gazing out at the brilliant blue fish currently fighting the current.

"They didn't always swim so hard, you know."

"What?" She didn't understand his non sequitur train of thought.

"The fish on this planet. The lake was once one whole large body of water, and they would simply swim to the western most part when the time came to lay their eggs. Then after the meteor shower of Holly 10, the land was shaken, a meteor created a crater which not only separated the lake in two, but the resulting mineral content turned the originally dull brown straight- swimmers into the stronger blue fish we now see. Fish, which for all their brilliance and ability to jump up a large waterfall that happened through no fault of their own, still end their journey just the same as the boring ones they could have been. In death." He ended his little lesson on a melancholy note, not fooling his long- term (from her point of view anyway) wife for one moment.

"But not before they bring life." She wouldn't let him continue this tour of his on a purely sad note. She wanted to wrap him in her arms and drive his demons away, if only for a little while. "Besides, there's something to dying a brilliant sapphire blue rather than some bland, unappealing brown."

"And how, exactly, do these fish benefit from their color?"

"Well, they've stopped looking like fish for one thing. And they have a hope the other fish never had." She refused to let him sink into a depression.

"And just what do these scaled vertebrates look like, if not fish?"

"Jewels."

"Rather odd- looking jewels. Is it common on your planet for jewels to look like this? Wait, hang on, you come from Earth. What kind of jewels are you thinking of?"

She laughed at his confusion, despite herself.

"Very large, very precious jewels, my Doctor. Just picture a sapphire moving."

He took in the nearest creature, tilting his head before finally seeing it for the precious stone to which she was comparing it, and deciding it _was_ a rather apt comparison.

"Fish that are like moving jewels. Little fish gems. Haha- Jewels in Motion- JIMs! JIM the fish." His smile at his own cleverness melted her heart, glad he could so still find such joy in such silly moments. He still had a smile on his face as he stared at that same fish as it fought the rough current.

"What's that hope these fish have?" he asked quietly, silently rooting for the small swimming jewel.

"Well, they are beautiful, impossible creatures. Just think of it my love. Their home was destroyed. They were changed through no fault of their own. They have to fight an unimaginable current to arrive where they were meant to be to begin with. Yet, they shine and sparkle and keep swimming against impossible odds, unlike those boring brown, weak fish they once were. And people are always willing to go the extra distance for glorious things that still shine when nature says they shouldn't. Perhaps someone will build them a dam, just because they are beloved."

He finally looked up at her, his expression breaking her heart. He unsettled her with that look in his eyes. A look she rarely saw, that sent a sharp piercing pain through her. He was terrified of what he believed lay in store for him. At her hands. He gazed steadily at her, a look of pleading entering his eyes.

"River. Will you go with me? Not- not the actual dying part, I mean, I know you, that is, younger you, will be there- obviously, but if you- this you- could be close by, I think I could-"

"Yes." She didn't even think it. Of course she would be with him as he faced his mortality, even if she knew the real outcome. Oh, she would shoot herself if she thought it could lessen his pain. Shoot that ludicrous space suit which had caused them both so much heartache. But she knew that would be impossible. What had happened for her would happen. She couldn't alter it, couldn't stop it. But she could do what she always did. She could run by his side until the end.

She cupped his face as she gazed into his old, scared eyes. Then she brought his head down to hers, forehead to forehead as they breathed in each other's air, sustaining one another in their own small atmosphere.

"Just send for me when it's time, and I'll come to you. Always."

He turned his head as his eyes remained on her, kissing her palm in thanks.

"I can't run from this forever, can I?" he inquired quietly into her hand.

She smiled grimly at him, wishing she could offer the comfort he so sought.

"No, my love, you can't."

He sighed, finally accepting his fate.

"What do I do?" He wasn't used to being at a such a loss. She looked up at him, her gaze full of compassion. Then she sighed and released his face, turning once more to the impossible fish as they continued their impossible task.

"Just keep hoping for that dam, my Love. Just keep hoping for that dam."


	2. Christmas Claus

**A/N- This drabble just came to me on a whim. Please review.**

**~~~~ Merry Christmas~~~~~**

"No, River, no! Absolutely not! You can't do this!"

"Oh, don't be so 19th Century Earth, my love. Of course I can. And I'm going to."

"River, Santa Claus is _always_ a man!"

"_Was_ always, Dear. This year, he gets to stay at the North Pole and supervise elves. Mrs. Claus is taking the sleigh! She deserves a night out on the town every now and again, don't you agree?"

The Doctor paces back and forth anxiously outside the door as he tries to convince his wife to let _him_ take the toys to the children of Trakis III as a distraction while _she_ sneaks behind the crowds to turn off the darkness filters to bathe the city once more in forbidden festive lights.. She has been getting ready for quite a while, and he was pouting by means of rambling on and on about the propriety of _Father_ Christmas- not at all upset that she had sneakily arranged the plan so he missed out on wearing one of his favourite outfits and hats and had tasked him with the quick, somewhat unexciting part of the plan- sonic and run. Nope. Not upset one bit.

"River- you can't even _be_ Mrs. Claus. And _she_ doesn't go deliver the presents! She's supposed to be all old looking, with wide chubby cheeks and a warm, grandmotherly smile, and fixes Santa cocoa when he-"

She steps out of the dressing room at last, her floor- length gown hugging her stunning figure in a way that renders the Doctor mute. He takes in the red velvet embracing her curves, white fur- like trim placed both strategically and subtly around the edges. The elf- like pointed stilettos she sported looked anything but ridiculous somehow, and in fact greatly complimented the red tinsel and jingly- bell clip she'd placed to hold back one side of her curls. She somehow managed to look both breathtaking and Christmassy at the same time- something which _really_ shouldn't have surprised the Doctor..

She followed his gaze as he looked her up and down in amazement and awe, smirking at her speechless husband.

"Dear," she says, bringing the Time Lord's attention to her face before pretending to straighten her dress as a means of drawing the Doctor's eyes to her outfit once more, "you were saying something about cocoa?"

The Doctor blinked, temporarily stunned by his wife.

"Yes," he managed meekly, before clearing his throat and looking briefly at her eyes before his gaze once more fell to the dress. "Yes, Mrs. Claus. I was saying Santa would have hot cocoa for you here at home when you finish delivering your gifts."

"Good boy." She grins as she passes him, patting his cheek as his eyes refuse to leave his wife. She bends down to pick up her small bag which held the joy of dozens of children within its depths before gliding out of the TARDIS, the Doctor's face still a mask of wonder as his head moves with the swish swish of her skirts.

She knew the right dress would make him more persuadable. She couldn't wait to show him what she planned to wear for Easter.


	3. Eternal Battles Waged

**All Quotes belong to Steven Moffat and the BBC. Please Review.**

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He hadn't planned this. Not really. But it just sort of perfectly happened to fall into his lap. He remembered the baby girl from oh so long ago and how she'd mocked him for his cool style. Then he remembered the freshly- regenerated Melody and how she'd once more commented on his tie. So, when he looked at this young, emotional woman before him, with whom he planned on spending several lifetimes, a plan, unprovoked, popped into his head.

"I need a strip of cloth about a foot long." He meant it. A hand- fasting ceremony was the quickest, most efficient way of giving them both what they wanted. He didn't see the genius of his words until-

Ooh! He was brilliant. And clever. And she would never realize. Yes, it was perfect. He knew the sentimental woman before him was in the perfect emotional state for just such a clever plan. He smiled inwardly, keeping the Tessalecta's face serious so as not to give himself away.

"Never mind," he interjected, before anyone else could react. And, he untied his beloved bowtie from around his neck, and used it to complete their makeshift marriage ceremony, content in his hearts for several reasons.

And River Song, the woman who married the Doctor, forever after held a special fondness for that bowtie so loathed by everyone else. It wasn't until years later that she reflected, after a conversation with her mother when its "uncoolness" was brought up, and she realized it had been an accomplice in his plot. That man! He'd purposely manipulated her to love his ridiculous neckwear! And, try as she might, she still couldn't bring herself to feel anything but fondness for the traitorous thing. Still, that type of behaviour warranted revenge of a serious nature. She may have been young before, but he would learn not to mess with River Song.

She hadn't really minded in Berlin, or any of the other times she'd seen him after that. But now, after realizing how she'd fallen into his trap so long ago, she decided he'd inadvertently challenged her on their wedding day. She was never one to back down from a challenge. And since hurting his bowtie would hurt her as well, she needed something else on which to wreak her revenge. So, when Christmastime came 'round, and she saw him about to merrily place a paper crown on his head, she pulled out her gun and fired. He stared dismayed at the would- be hat, then looked up, horrified at her smirk.

She crossed the room and kissed him lightly on the lips, pointedly adjusting his tie, before grabbing the flimsy paper from his hand and holding it up as a prize, the smile on her face determined, brilliant, and utterly victorious. He looked from the hand still at his neck to the one holding the holey hat, realizing he'd finally been found out. Then he sighed, realizing the war she would forever wage against his headgear was unstoppable. He reached out and mournfully took the tattered crown, accepting it was the first casualty of many.


End file.
